I wrote this today, wishing very much I had the money and crew to do a spoof trailer of this scale…
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THE OCCURRING – TRAILER SCRIPT
FADE UP into the kitchen of a suburban household as LOW, OMINOUS MUSIC growls to life. A group of teens and twenty-somethings: MERIEL, MARI, BOSSWALD, and PIKE are in summerwear, obviously getting ready for a weekend of river tubing and fun in the sun. LURKER enters with a couple of GROCERY BAGS, heavy with snacks.
MARI >> There you are!
BOSSWALD >> C’mon man, load up the beer and let’s go! We’re late!
BOSSWALD looks in a bag and pulls out a BUNDLE OF CELERY
BOSSWALD >> What the hell is this?
LURKER shrugs and puts some ORANGES into the cooler.
LURKER >> I dunno. I just had this idea all of a sudden that I should try to eat healthier, so I bought this stuff instead.
MERIEL >> No beer?!
LURKER suddenly looks very distant, gazing beyond the ORANGE in his hand.
LURKER >> (vacantly, monotone) I…I just thought I should try to eat healthier…
BOSSWALD >> You okay, man?
LURKER doesn’t reply. Suddenly he rams the ENTIRE ORANGE into his mouth (ORCHESTRA STING) and starts gagging and gurgling, cheeks distended. He thrashes violently against the counter and falls, spraying the girls with pulp and orange juice, until finally he shudders to a halt. His lips peel back, revealing a bloody orange smile. MARI shrieks.
PIKE >> Oh my god!!
MARI >> Call 911! Call 911!
MERIEL doesn’t budge. Instead she grabs a CARROT from the counter and casually impales her own throat with it. CUT TO BLACK just as we see BLOOD fountain from the jugular wound.
NARRATIOR >> We ignored the warning signs…
CUT TO a NEWS BULLETIN on the television.
REPORTER >> The FDA believes that the recent deaths are the cause of food poisoning, and that the public avoid eating raw tomatoes, jalepenos, or lettuce until scientists can narrow down the pathogen further…
CUT TO A TACO BELL, where REANCHI and his DATE are chowing down on Mexican Food.
REANCHI >> …funniest thing I ever saw. “I’m Rick James, bitch! Hah!”
But she’s not listening. Instead she looks dumbstruck at her TACO. CLOSE-UP on the lettuce and tomatoes that top the taco.
REANCHI >> Something wrong?
She plunges the entire TACO into her mouth.
REANCHI >> Yeaaaaah baby, take that taco out! Baby?
She collapses. REANCHI rushes to her side, shaking her and getting in position for the Heimlich Maneuver, but then he notices everyone else in the restaurant has also died, ruptured burritos spilling from their mouths. CUT TO BLACK.
NARRATOR >> We didn’t read the side of the box…
CUT TO an ASSEMBLY HALL in a HIGH SCHOOL, where a group of NERVOUS TEACHERS are gathered around PRINCIPAL EVERSHEAR.
EVERSHEAR >> There is…something occurring. We’re canceling school for the day. I think everyone should be at home with their families.
CUT TO the outside of the high-school, where two teachers, NOAH and WES are arguing on the way to the parking lot.
WES >> You’re just imagining things. We always knew the terrorists might spray our food crops with some kind of chemical!
NOAH wheels on him.
NOAH >> We’re the fattest nation on the planet! You didn’t think eventually Mother Nature would try to correct that imbalance?
WES scoffs and takes a hit from his THIRSTBUSTER.
CUT TO BLACK.
NARRATOR >> And now…
CUT TO the PRODUCE AISLE OF A SUPERMARKET. NOAH walks into the aisle, but stops dead in his tracks as he realizes where he is, eyes racing back and forth as he witnesses people dying all around him, pitching forward into the fruits and vegetables. One woman wails as she slices her own wrists to shreds with a PINEAPPLE SLICE.
NARRATOR >> Nature is taking us out of the food chain.
CUT TO NOAH’S CAR as he shouts desperately on the phone, racing through traffic.
NOAH >> Listen to me, damn it! No fruits, no vegetables. Nothing fresh, just canned, you hear me? Just meat!!
CUT TO WES’ HOUSE. WES slowly turns his head in horror, lowering the phone…
NOAH >> (over the phone) Wes?! WES??
WES sees his DAUGHTERS reaching for some FRUIT ROLL-UPS.
WES >> NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
CUT TO BLACK.
NARRATOR >> THE OCCURRING. Earth has decided we’re not fit to survive.
CUT TO A JUMP SCARE of a FRENZIED MERIEL RAGE ZOMBIE throwing a POTATO at NOAH’S WINDSHIELD.
CUT TO BLACK and the sound of a CAR CRASH.
–FIN–
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