A fan wrote in with this link; thought you might enjoy it. Apparently someone managed to beat The Adventures of Bayou Billy in under 25 minutes without dying. According to the wunderkind in question, Tom ‘rdrunner’ Votava, “It’s important to get through the driving levels without dying so that you can carry over your weapon from Stage 3 to Stage 6. Having a weapon there works wonders!”
Oh, naturally. Silly me. I’ll get right on that.
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I salute you, sir!
All you need to know The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena for the PC.
Enjoy your rental.
An undercover cop’s cover is blown while investigating a bookie operation, and it’s up to the stalwart defenders of peace and justice to rescue him before the UC sleeps with the fishes!
The SWAT is going bust on these Mafia goons! How many tries will it take? Place your bets!
A botched bank robbery has several heavily-armed suspects holed up in a nearby office building known as the Red Library, which is likely to be a secret socialist software developer responsible for pushing Marxist dogma on our fresh-faced American youth!
Needless to say, the pressure of the situation combined with the underlying communist menace has the entire team a bit on-edge.
“You’re in my spot, sir.”
Edit: Considerable interest has been shown into the fate of the injured civilian who collapsed with his head trapped in the elevator doors. While the cumulative effect of the doors closing on his head several hundred times over the course of two hours caused significant brain damage that prevented him from working further on software development, it made him an ideal host for G4 programming. He now hosts a wacky clip show called “Totally Freaky Groin Injuries Caught on Tape,” and is the highest-rated show in the much-coveted 3-3:30 AM time slot.
Bite-size version is here.
To understand why Final Fantasy VIII sucks so hard, you need to take a trip back to the past– 2000 years into the past, to be exact. But will we be able to get back to the future with our sanity intact?
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April Fool’s Edit: Okay, in case the joke was over your head, it was that I was doing an exaggerated, manic review of a classic, good game. I was parodying my own style in overanalyzing the plot of a game during a time when games basically had plots no more complex than “your girlfriend was punched in the stomach and kidnapped.” I’m a little surprised people weren’t able to pick up the extremely thickly-trawled layer of sarcasm over my usual tone of voice (”OOOOOOOH, that’ll pay the rent!”) and my rant about “what could possibly stop the lady made of fire who throws fire,” but I guess that’s the fun of April Fool’s, that some people will believe anything.
This was essentially my way of doing a funny review of a good game, and seeing who would take the flamebait. The “Rise of Insano” sketch is a possible origin story, since the origins of Doctor Insano are shrouded in mystery and may never be truly known.
