Just thought I’d put a link to the commentary on the front page! I hope you’ll find it…illuminating.

In this final part of the review, I attempt to defeat Final Fantasy VIII once and for all using all of my scientific knowledge to compress time. Witness as I bring about the end of an era in this explosive conclusion to my most epic and notorious review.

Nothing will be the same again!

To understand why Final Fantasy VIII sucks so hard, you need to take a trip back to the past– 2000 years into the past, to be exact. But will we be able to get back to the future with our sanity intact?

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April Fool’s Edit: Okay, in case the joke was over your head, it was that I was doing an exaggerated, manic review of a classic, good game. I was parodying my own style in overanalyzing the plot of a game during a time when games basically had plots no more complex than “your girlfriend was punched in the stomach and kidnapped.” I’m a little surprised people weren’t able to pick up the extremely thickly-trawled layer of sarcasm over my usual tone of voice (”OOOOOOOH, that’ll pay the rent!”) and my rant about “what could possibly stop the lady made of fire who throws fire,” but I guess that’s the fun of April Fool’s, that some people will believe anything.

This was essentially my way of doing a funny review of a good game, and seeing who would take the flamebait. The “Rise of Insano” sketch is a possible origin story, since the origins of Doctor Insano are shrouded in mystery and may never be truly known.

Disc 2 starts off inauspiciously as our heroes have been imprisoned by the nefarious Sorceress! What horrors await them at the not-so-tender mercies of Seifer and his electric bed? Is there any hope of rescue from this mobile, subterranean prison, or will its anti-magic field spell doom?

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!

Welcome to the long-awaited resurrection of my review of Final Fantasy VIII: the game that has plagued my existence for years.

Production Notes

• This will probably be the last time you’ll see the “Break Me” intro in its current form. I’d like to update it to include new moments from my latest reviews.
• If you’re wondering about my t-shirt, it’s similar to the one worn by Matt Damon early in the movie Dogma.
• “I AM A MAYUNN!” is a reference to Linkara’s brilliant series of videos called Atop the Fourth Wall, hosted on That Guy With The Glasses. You should definitely check him out if you haven’t already. I probably should have given him a credit at the end– an oversight for which I apologize.
• This is the first ever use of chromakey in my videos, and I’ll be the first to admit it’s very amateurish in execution. My room is a poor place to set up a green screen, and proper lighting is nearly impossible. Hopefully soon I’ll have some more room to maneuver, maybe get myself a studio!
• Fu Manchu was supposed to be wearing a Chinese-style wig, but unfortunately I went cheap and bought one of those wigs-in-bags things, which is always a horrible idea whenever you’re dealing with hair more than a few inches long. I don’t know why, but when I tried the wig out, it was little more than a matted, greasy lump.
• It was deceptively hard finding good Election 2008 video. I’m still amazed I was able to find anything related to Dave.

A character who uses a gun? This is a dream! It’s a tale of really awkward romance and a fat man throwing a harpoon at mushrooms.

Will our heroes ever wake up and find out what in the hell their mission is? Is Quistis a fembot? And what horrible thing will I name Rinoa’s dog?

WARNING: Mature Content!

It seems that FF8 has thrown me into a hallucinatory wonderland, where a parallel universe version of myself decided to ravage Final Fantasy SEVEN instead!

Before everyone gets upset, I’m just fucking around so count to ten before you go declaring a blood-feud on my house.

The prom continues, but my date has ditched me! Will I ever find love? And what’s in the magic lamp?

It’s time to finally confront the game itself. No more mini-games, no more magic. Let’s take a look at the story and characters that make Final Fantasy VIII…shall we say, “special.” Oh, and there’s a giant mechanical spider and Robin Williams. Chicken-geek.

This episode tackles the most annoying of all minigames: the thirty hour side quest known as Triple Triad. Everyone’s doing it! It’s time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!