Boba Fett
A Tirade by Noah Antwiler
I'm back, and I've had it with Star Wars! Oh yeah, that's right. I've had a major problem with Star Wars for a while, but those prequels were the last straw-- so for those of you with a thick skin, stick around. For you fanboys who are just gonna get sore over me picking on your movie, just remember that Jolly Blackburn gets your hate mail and letter bombs, not me. I'm invincible, suckers!
This month's edition of the Spoony Movie Rant is about the most overrated Lucasfilm superstar to ever sell a lunchbox: Boba Fett and his idiot father, Jango "My Kids Named Me" Fett.
As the skies blacken, as the Star Wars geeks' begin to mass in the valleys and they brandish their plastic lightsabers, as the inquisition lights their torches, like sands in the hourglass, like dust in the wind, like every rose has its thorn, I can already sense the hell that's going to come down on me for picking on the oh-so-badass icon of bounty hunters that uttered a total of 3 lines in the original series. Boba Fett's always been one of those holy, untouchable characters. You don't tug on Drizz't Do'Urden's cape, you don't spit on Lord of the Rings, you don't pull the mask off of Ambassador Kosh and you don't mess around with Fett.
Why is that? He's always been big. No, not just big. The biggest. Even when I was a kid, I remember seeing Fett toys in the supermarket, and kids would beg for them! If any given nerd were to spontaneously project himself into a Star Wars fantasy, he'd probably dream himself in Slave 1, killing Jedi, growling out badass one-liners, and regularly nailing Mara Jade on the side. The guy reigns nearly uncontested on anyone's list of biggest badasses.
But why? Who exactly is Boba Fett? That enigmatic extra in the green Mandalorian armor. The man whose humble starts were an introduction in the Star Wars Christmas Special. Oh, I know, Boba is one bad mamajama. He's cool looking, he's stoic, he's a man of few words, and he's honest about what he wants: the benjamins. But I'll tell you what he isn't: a bounty hunter.
You remember in Empire when Vader is walking down the line of bounty hunters giving them their instructions on how to find Han Solo? Went a little something like this:
DV: "You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. NO DISINTEGRATIONS."
BF: *As you wish.*
Can you spot the problem with this line? He's supposed to be a bounty hunter, right? Well what kind of nimrod bounty hunter has to be reminded not to obliterate his mark into his component atoms? The point is to drag the dude back and collect the bounty, isn't it? As in, alive? That's traditionally what bounty hunters are expected to do. And this isn't just about Han Solo. Let's talk about any other bounty contract.
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Example: Fett comes back from a job and visits Prince Xizor.
*I have come to collect the bounty on Skywalker, my prince.*
Excellent, bounty hunter. Bring him to me so that I might gloat over him."
*Well, uh, it's the funniest thing, Lord Xizor. He's uh, kinda dead."
YOU FOOL! *sigh* Then where is his body so I might gloat over that?"
*Ah! The body, yeah well um I disintegrated him. It's quicker that way and I don't have to drag him all the way back to the ship -- and well you didn't really specify .... so .... I gotta go, so if you could just put the money into my account ...*
You really think that's gonna fly? You can't even prove the dude is dead! If you hired Boba Fett to kill someone, he's really just a glorified assassin. If he's got a reputation for disintegrating people as Vader seems to imply, why would anyone hire him in the first place? He obviously sucks as a bounty hunter. It's a little like a pizza delivery man with a penchant for eating on the job. But despite his reputation for wantonly obliterating hapless victims, he actually does act appropriately when it comes to Solo's capture. He wants Solo alive to collect his bounty, so perhaps he's just been going through a rough phase in his career.
Of course, if you consider Return of the Jedi, you'll see Fett hanging around in the background of Jabba's palace. He doesn't seem to be a fan of the music (who is?), and I doubt he comes to the palace for its world famous Bloomin' Onions. Instead, he appears to be acting as a bodyguard for Jabba, making his exact profession even more mysterious. What is he now, a Bounty Hunter/Assassin/Bodyguard? If you think about it, he doesn't even really do a good job as a bodyguard, allowing the twi'lek slave girl almost a full 30 seconds of time to attempt Jabba's murder uncontested. Sure, Jabba handled himself all right and fed the disgruntled dancer to the rancor, but where was Fett? Off taking a smoke? Rinsing out his helmet? Why would he let any assassination attempt, however laughable, go without blasting her immediately into a steaming lump of ash?
The guy was a walk-on role, people, let's face it. Let's confront the lie that George Lucas had like 9 Star Wars movies written up at once; he just made Eps 4-6 first. He's always said this in the interviews and books that I've read, but I'd be willing to bet if you called his bluff he wouldn't have produced anything more than a few soiled Post-It Notes written in the aftermath of a 30-pack of Pete's Wicked Ale. There's no way you can tell me that Boba Fett, a minor character with about 3 lines in the movies, could have been the lynchpin in the plot that set into motion the entire intergalactic conflict known as...The Clone Wars. So you're telling me that Lucas, in his infinite wisdom, based his entire prequel series around Boba and Jango Fett. Characters he could never have possibly known at the time would be so mind-bogglingly popular.
But Jango Fett was even worse. You KNEW Lucas was trying every lame trick he could think of to somehow shoehorn an adult Boba Fett into Attack of the Clones, but the time frame problem was just insurmountable. There was no way it'd work unless Boba's around 50 years old in Empire. Enter Jango Fett, a duplicate character with a name twice as stupid. Jango is such a laughably stupid character not simply because his involvement in the Clone Wars is a plot hole you could drive a Death Star through-- he's laughable because he's such a dork. Now don't get all mad yet, here's an example.
He looks badass; I'll give him that much. Jango does have quite the impressive array of weaponry. A jetpack, a blaster pistol, a neato grappling-hook firing thingy, a flamethrower (that he doesn't seem to know how to use), and a bunch of cool missiles on his backpack he can't hit anything with. Undeniably, Jango is a master of ranged combat. He's a crack shot, I bet. You'd have to be quite the gunslinger to be a feared bounty hunter in a galaxy full of staggeringly weird beasties. Which is why in Attack of the Clones I can't help but giggle at his sudden plunge in IQ. You'd think his first choice of action when confronted with an army of lightsaber-wielding weirdos who are masters at melee combat would be to fly around and pick them off. Or something akin to that.
You know what he does. He whips that hand cannon right out and CHARGES BLINDLY INTO MELEE COMBAT!! YEAH!! with Jules-- I mean, Mace Windu, the BMF himself! What the hell is he thinking?? The very purpose of a GUN is that you shoot people before they can do something painful, like ... oh, I don't know .... jam a sword into you? See, guns are extraordinarily cool in those crazy times you don't feel like being bayoneted or decapitated. I don't know, I'm no soldier... But Jango, the most mobile man on the field, and the best shot, and the man with a weapon the Jedi can't block (flamethrower), is quite content to frolick around on foot to duke it out with the second-best swordsman in the universe. If you ask me, the dumbass got what he deserved.
"Oh look, there's lots of sword-wielding maniacs on the ground. CHAAAARRRGE!!! WHEE!"
I laugh my ass off at that part, but even more so when little Boba picks up his daddy's helmet. (Remarkably light for having a human head in the helmet-- and don't gimme that crap about seeing his head fly out; it ain't there.) Wouldn't that be funny if his head fell out in front of Boba? It'd slide out like a can of cranberry sauce. *thhhhwwww-thwup!* "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Oh man, that woulda been rich. Boba would've been scarred for life! Ha ha!
And you know in Clones when Jango is contracted to kill Padme? What kind of a wussy bounty hunter hires someone ELSE to do his work for him? He hires that lame changeling thing to kill her off. Again, this makes no sense to me-- I thought Jango was a bounty hunter. Killing senators is clearly the role of an assassin, and he's not even really filling that role! Seems to me all that Jango is, is a subcontractor of incompetent assistants, like the changeling sends that flying robot thing to Padme's place. There are all these neat lasers all over the floor that act as motion detectors, and we're awed by their CG coolness. So the robot gets into the room and releases those ooh-so-scary bugs into the room, and the plan is the bugs will poison Padme, and she'll die. Sounds pretty elegant. But why not just load a bunch of machine guns on the robot and have it spray the room down? Flood the room with cyanide gas? Or just be packed with explosives and level the whole floor? Padme's dead, problem solved. But their brilliant plan is to send a bunch of huge bugs inside, where there are two Jedi with super-senses sitting on the other side of the door, who are presumably on constant alert and can detect foreign life forms if they concentrate on them? Talk about inept. My plan would have worked
I admit, perhaps this little tirade was more of a sneak attack on the hapless Jango Fett, and thereby an attack primarily on the intensely stupid prequel movies. I think something inside all of us died the day George Lucas made Force-sensitivity akin to a venereal disease. Or maybe I'm still bitter that they're releasing a new Hellboy DVD, what, a month or two after the last one? I never thought the video aisle would make me so apprehensive. You can't even buy a movie anymore without the fear of next month bringing a new unrated director's cut with go-faster stripes and the alternate ending where you find out that Winona's not really a robot, and Connor's not really from the planet Zeist. Just wait for Revenge of the Sith and Return of the King to come out on DVD, only to find out that the complete collector's editions you have now are going to be replaced with a Super Mega Six-Pack that makes your current collection completely obsolete!
Actually, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars are perhaps the worst offenders on that score. The original LoTR movies were good, but can you really wait a month for the extended editions? Remember when the original Star Wars movies were put out on tape in a trilogy boxed set a week before the special editions were re-released in the theaters? And then those special editions were released in their own boxed set about a week later? Sure, it was just $20 for you, but even if one person in a thousand caved in and bought them all, that's a load of money!
Clever how the studios cash in, isn't it?
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
If it helps, “Bounty Hunters” in Star Wars are really always just mercenaries. As you said, Boba is just in it for the money. He doesn’t care what the job is. As for Jango, I agree with a lot that you said(btw, I’ve seen freeze frame shots from AOTC that show the shadow of Jango’s head dropping out of the helmet as it goes flying), but you can’t totally blame his characterization on the great writing talents of George Lucas.
As for the hate on midichlorians: while I think it was an unnecessary plot device to make clear to the audience that Anakin was uber strong, I think people need to understand that The Force is not a byproduct of the midichlorians. Instead, the midichlorians are a physical manifestation of The Force that connects the Life part of it to the Cosmic(or Unifying as its known) part.
But in the end, everyone’s entitled to their opinion.
As nerdish as this sounds, I’ve read the Bounty Hunter Wars trilogy, which deals with what happens to Boba Fett after he gets swallowed and yes, he does survive, mostly by just giving the sarlaac the worst case of indigestion ever. Anyone, he wasn’t actually guarding Jabba. The plot is much too complex to explain here but it involves keeping an eye on an amnesiac slave girl who’s secretly heir to some vast ship manufacturing corporation. Don’t ask. Suffice to say, Boba’s only attached to Jabba’s cash, not Jabba himself.
hm, but did that show through in the movie?
i dont think a movie scene is any good if you have to read a book to get it. or does anyone disagree with that?
oh, and star wars geeks all around the globe, please do me a favour. in discussions about the movies, please dont brink up the novels anymore, only major geeks read them and most star wars fans or not that obsessed. a movie has to make sense on its own!!!
thanks for listening.
oh and spoony, your reviews rule and especially this little rant is spot on. even the “predictions” for the special edition dvds wasnt that far off.
keep up the good work!
matt
i kinda saw all these people debating what they just read even before i reached the bottom of the page
new boba fett action figure!
comes with all the tools used in the movies such as:
-jet pack which is used only once that doesnt seem to fly well.
-a grappling cable which works for less than a second and is easily broken apart by lukes light saber.
-a blaster that can be easily swatted away by your darth vader action figure.
he also does all the awesome things hes done in the movies such as:
-accidentally find han solo while trash picking
-standing around in jabas palace doing nothing.
-being digitally edited into a new hope to do MORE nothing.
-and being killed by a totally blind man who jut awoke from being in comatose!
it even has his most famous trait…
thats right this boba fett action figure comes with totally-pussing-out-and-becoming-a-bitch-when-in-the-presence-of-lord-vader action!
and if you buy one now well through in jango fett so that you can start your own army of soldiers who cant shoot for shit!
By the way, the twi’lek dancer did not try to kill Jabba. Jabba wanted the dancer come to him, but she refused, enraging him, which is why he killed her..
“When little Boba picks up his daddy’s helmet …Wouldn’t that be funny if his [Jango's] head fell out in front of Boba?”
Yes it would and it would have been the best part of the entire prequel trilogy!
Spoonys reviews are awesome not to mention hilarious.
But, I don’t think that every character has to be explained for a movie to be good.
Boba is not a body guard or a pussy. He has respect for his employers and they are his bread, so of coarse he will defend them. I doubt he saw a struggling dancing girl as any threat.
Also, I like the fact that a fantasy world is not limited to just movies. Tie-ins are awesome.
I watch a lot of sci-fi (and I was a soldier for going on 8+ years) and the observations by Spoony about the ranged vs. saber retard moment are hilarious. You know, as much as I like the Mandalorian armor design and the weapons the two characters used, I can’t help but agree with pretty much all of this. Fett Jr. had barely any part to play in the movies, while Fett Sr. was made out to be something great only to do something incredibly foolish later in the SAME movie and be killed. Even given that he had pre-written the prequels, I can’t help but wonder if there was some editing work done to cater to the Fett fans by making Jango’s part so pronounced and creating that origin point for Boba. I like the design and all, but why hype a character so hard just to turn around and make them a disappointment? That, to me makes an astoundingly minuscule degree of sense.
I agree on all points.
A great review of a character that didnt deserve as much attention as he gets. Thank you.
“Can you spot the problem with this line? He’s supposed to be a bounty hunter, right? Well what kind of nimrod bounty hunter has to be reminded not to obliterate his mark into his component atoms? The point is to drag the dude back and collect the bounty, isn’t it? As in, alive? That’s traditionally what bounty hunters are expected to do.”
Not necessarily. Historically bounties were sometimes offered as a reward for killing a target. For instance, they used to offer bounties for killing wolves. And of course there’s the famous “Wanted: Dead or Alive” notices in the Old West. They just don’t do it anymore (not with people anyway) because it conflicts with due process.
And I think the thing that really kicked off the Boba Fettishism (which I too succumbed to in my youth) was the fact that he was just so damned mysterious. Nobody really knew who he was or what he could do so people were free to imagine whatever they wanted about him, and it just snowballed from there.
Or it could just be the jetpack. Jetpacks are cool.
I think your right about jango being, what could I say? RETARDED!! When I saw the movie I was like hoping he would fly far away and use that poisoned dart thingy on Mace, the “BMF” :)
I just love how Jango thought it was a brilliant idea to use a laser pistol against Mace when they first met. Because Jedi NEVER deflect lasers with lightsabers all fucking day.
Yeah Jango dress’s cool but sucks. He couldn’t even kill Obi Wan out of his element in a starship battle. I also think its hilarious people like Boba Fett so much he got brought back to life in the extended universe. I recently read the whole New Jedi Order series which takes place like 20 years after ROTJ. And at one point Boba Fett is in that an actually helps Han Solo I was like wtf on several different levels.
Jango: BWEH.
Boba: Well, let’s see.
I think it’s easiest to refer to him as a mercenary—does the job you pay him for, whether it’s KILL THAT DAMN MAILMAN or KEEP THE FANBOYS OFF ME or BLOW SOMETHING UP.
Honestly, he’s pretty cool as long as you don’t get too oozy about him.
“Let’s confront the lie that George Lucas had like 9 Star Wars movies written up at once; he just made Eps 4-6 first. He’s always said this in the interviews and books that I’ve read, but I’d be willing to bet if you called his bluff he wouldn’t have produced anything more than a few soiled Post-It Notes written in the aftermath of a 30-pack of Pete’s Wicked Ale.”
You’d win that one. You may want to read The Secret History of Star Wars. It’s a bit tedious to go through all the sources he collected but it’s clear Lucas never planned more then the first movie and even that was a rather painful endeavor if you read the initial scripts which might as well come from a Uwe Boll movie. And even if you don’t want to go that far: There is a reason why Vader in New Hope doesn’t come off as more then The Dragon and lapdog for Tarkin. The Star Wars universe has enough continuity problems and RetCon’s that it is pants-on-head retarded to actually believe Lucas planned ahead for all the movies or even the original trilogy.
That aside, Fett went through the same transition as Vader. Fans liked him for whatever reason and his role was thus inflated beyond what the character can actually carry to cash in all that fanwankery.
“But Jango, the most mobile man on the field, and the best shot, and the man with a weapon the Jedi can’t block (flamethrower), is quite content to frolick around on foot to duke it out with the second-best swordsman in the universe. If you ask me, the dumbass got what he deserved.”
I totally agree with that. I was dumbfounded at the stupidity of Jango for not using the flamethrower when he had the chance. Hell, why don’t they just use bullets instead of lasers, since bullets can’t be deflected?
BTW, Mace Windu is the BEST at the lightsaber, not the 2nd best. Anakin implied that Mace was a better swordsman than Yoda, plus Mace beat Palpatine, which Yoda failed at. I read online that Mace is the only Jedi to have mastered a certain style that when used, he is virtually unbeatable. It also said that even without using his special style, only Dooku & Yoda could outspar him. His special style is supposed to vent some of his dark side or something, so he only uses it in real fights.
Therefore, Jango ran straight into battle like an retard against someone who could not be beaten.
Well, yeah, Boba Fett’s role isn’t very clearly defined, but bounty hunter sounds better than mercenary, since the former involves being bad enough to take down some notorious galactic badasses without help. Plus, episodes 1-3 weren’t edited by George Lucas’ wife (as I was told), so a lot of the crap that was edited out of the originals (and re-added later) made it into the prequels. If you haven’t noticed already, George Lucas is a cool guy, but he’s not the best writer/director.
i agree with you on that score about Jango fett, if he was that stupid as the last of the mandalorians, its not hard to see how the rest of the species didn’t make it
Even though i was a total starwars nut in my youth, looking back at the francheis i must admitt that it kinda sucks. The acting is often subpar and the story gets ridicules at times. But that doesnt bother me that mutch. Im mostly in it for the awsome sith/jedi filosophical debate and the way they use historical events in a new seting. Also lightsabers do i realy need to say more?
I do however belive that the original script had a lot of the ep1 – 3 saga in it. However George must have added and changed the script a lot over time.
having not been a huge starwars fand when the prquals came out, I never really had any fond memories of Boba Fett. As a matter of fact I didn’t even realize he was in Empire until recently. So when I learned that Ep. 2 was going to tell the origin story of Boba Fett, my first reaction was, “WHY?” I mean when you stop and think about it how many characters with far more relevance to the plot would have benifitted much much more from some extra backstory?
Grand Moff Tarkin: Okay let’s face it, Tarkin is really the main badguy in ep. iv. Darth is pretty much just doing his bidding the entire movie. SO it would have been cool if they actually set up his character in the prequals, other than just the one shot in ep. 3. Which reminds me, he was played by Wayne “Scorpius” Pygram, seriously how bad ass would that have been to have him as a young Tarkin?
Han Solo/ Lando Calrissian: I think most of you will agree that the absence of these characters was most felt in the prequals. I know they would have only been kids, but it would have been a little glimmer of, “Yeah, we know it’s bad, but it gets better after this, we promiss.
Admiral Ackbar: He’s the supreme commander of the Rebel fleet, plus he’s more than likely the inspiration for the Character of Dr. Zoidberg on Futurama
General Grievous: Okay, seriously, it’s completely unforgivable that you spend a pretty good chunk of episode 2. developing this Jango Fett Character which basically adds up to nil, and then in the next episode you have this other character virtually jump out of nowhere. And don’t talk to me about Clone Wars, Clone wars doen’t exist as far as I’m concerned. GG is basically 4 times the bad ass Jango was, plus he actually has relevance in the sence that he represents what Anakin will soon become. It would have been nice to have seen him before he was a cyborg. In fact you could probably have switched his character with Jango in Ep. 2 (pretending for a second that his character was actually a human), and it might have made slightly more sense, and having all the clone army based on him might have been considerably less retarded.
But at least now we know all the clones are Fetts too! That explains..nothing. But it creates more questions that can be answered by more prequels! Yay!
I’m one of the biggest Star Wars nerds out there (I’m actually in the process of building my own mandalorian armor right now. Yes, I’m that big of a nerd.), but I never quite crossed the line from ‘hardcore nerd’ to ‘rabid fanboy’, so for the most part I agree with you.
From what I can tell, Lucas did the same thing with Boba and Jango that happend with Vader. Originally in Episode IV, Vader was just going to be a throwaway villain. Much like what he did in Episode I with Maul. But because Vader got so popular, Lucas decided to weave him deeper into the story in the next two movies. So when it came time to do the prequels, he did the same thing he did with Jango and the clones and whatnot. Everybody loves Boba Fett. Why not make him a clone of the man who was the original template for the entire goddamned clone army. (Which is actually kinda stupid. I mean, it makes sense to clone a ‘great warrior’ like him for the stormtroopers. But wouldn’t you want A) a few ‘great warriors’ to clone just in case one batch goes bad, and B) a few ‘great pilots’ and ‘great janitors’ and ‘great whatever the (*&% else an army needs’ to fill in the other roles? Or was he just magically great at everything? I can just picture it now: Jango Fett, space mess hall supervisor extraordinaire.)
The big difference there was that he made Vader fit into the story for episode 5 and 6. And he made him fit into a classic archetype that fit into the classic adventure/myth style of the series. The same cannot be said about the Fetts.
Also… who the (*&% faces off against Mace Windu and only uses a couple of pistols? Really. Mace ‘Hand my my lightsaber. It’s the one that says bad-ass motherfucker on it’ Windu. They did give an excuse as to why he didn’t just fly away, since that big rhino CG monster ran into him and obviously broke his jetpack. But still. The whole character was just badly written. Hell, the whole prequel trilogy was just badly written. Its no surprise that the best Star Wars movie was Empire. Which was the first one Lucas didn’t direct himself. And the director they got let them fudge with the dialogue to make stuff sound like things real people would say.
Wouldn’t that be funny if his head fell out in front of Boba? xDDDDDD
I can prove that midichlorians was a pointless and flawed addition to the Force mythos from a writer’s perspective.
In the original movies, ‘the Force’ was the explanation for mystical abilities and lightsabers – a mysterious omnipresent power that the Jedi and Sith could tap into, kind of like a sixth sense. This explained a lot of the otherwise-impossible stuff that occurred in the movie, and despite how abstract it was, we were able to buy it because of how it was portrayed (and because it was in a galaxy far, far away instead of Earth).
Fast forward twenty years or so, where Star Wars is highly popular and most everyone is familiar with the Force and how it works. Episode 1 comes along and now offers an explanation for the Force by using cell-sized organisms.
Essentially, what they did was offer an explanation for an explanation.
First of all, that is NEVER a good idea when writing. If the original explanation is too complicated to get, it should be reworked, and if it works, don’t fuck with it. Tres simple, non? And far as I can tell, no one but extremely rabid scientific fanboys were going apeshit over something as impossible as the Force. We all understood it. We all bought it. Case closed!
Second, they tried to quantify an abstract power, which sets off so many shounen manga red flags you expect the visiting team to be deported. They couldn’t have just said, ‘Wow, this kid’s really good with the Force’ and left it at that? We would’ve believed them! Even if he wasn’t a character we were already familiar with as a strong force used (poorly-acted though he may be), our suspension of disbelief has already developed for the Force, so if the Jedi says he’s really good, who are we to argue? But no, they have to show how his power level/spiritual pressure/shamanic mana is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!! just to make sure we get it.
Given how crazy some Star Wars fans can be, I half-expect (and half-hope) someone to go the distance and remake the first three movies out of spite for Mr. Lucas one of these days. And who knows, it might not suck as hard.
You are SO right on this, Spoony. I remember when AotC came out, I knew that all this “Fett love” was pure BS. Lucas was trying to make a buck off of a popular character. There is NO WAY he ever planned in advance that Jango would be the template for a clone army. Then he goes back to the OT and dubs Jango’s voice into Boba since they are clones.
Boba was a minor character that was used to bring in Solo, look cool and get punked out and die. Even Jango went down looking like an inept fool.
One thing you were wrong, though, was that Jango’s head clearly flew out of the helmet before it hit the ground. You can see its shadow. What if young Boba grabbed Jango’s head and stared at it instead of the helmet? That would have been funny….and creepy too I guess.
I had a really different viewpoint of boba fett. Regretably, i was pretty into star wars when i was a kid. I actually had to go through slow motion, and put on the caption of the sarlacc pit scene before i figured out what “boba fett’s” name was. I dont know why, but i just always thought he was really awesome, even though he was a very minor character. There were no boba fett fan clubs, or fan art with him sodomizing Bastila Shan when i grew up, he was unknown. I remember even among my little star wars circle of friends, i was considered the dorkiest because i took the time to research the movie and find out what this guy’s name was.
At some point, i just gave up on the cocksucker. I was tired of being ridiculed for liking him so much, in fact i was an object of ridicule just for knowing who he was. So i made an effort just to forget about his jet pack ass, then what happens? They re-release the movies, and add more of him into it. Then they make some new movies, and make him a big part of it. Then everyone loves his shit, everyone thinks Boba is the hottest motherfucker in town….and they all pretend like they dont remember making fun of me because i was into his shit way before them.
Fuck you Chip. Fuck you.
Jango Fett’s death scene always irked me too.
I think Spoony makes some real good points, but I find it’s pointless to complain about anything SW related. If you think too hard about them Nothing makes any real sense.
But I’m cool with that. Dogfights, explosions and battles are cool. Too bad the PT had so much dreary romance/politics to go with its explosions. In the PT there is way WAY less kickassery going on to distract you from all the plot holes, I think that’s its core weakness…
Take any action movie. Most are full of dumb plot, but their quality is determined by their level of kickass. This is where the OT wins over the PT. Or Matrix wins over Matrix Revolutions. Etc…
but Spoony, the difference between the first released DVDs of the Lord of the Rings films and their special editions were huge. The first released dvds featured the theatrical cut of the film and a few other extras. But the extended cuts featured scenes placed back into the films, very cool filmmaker commentaries from Peter Jackson, the department heads, the artists, and the actors, and hours upon hours of behind-the-scenes documentaries.
The DVDs for the prequel movies and the “special” edition of the original Star Wars were bullshit by comparison. Lucas tampered with the films one last time before they got printed to discs, the commentaries are so goddamn bland (especially from Lucas), and the special features and behind the scenes for the prequels was nothing special. I remember the one documentary for Attack of the CLones was just a couple of painful hours of the guys at ILM kissing Lucas’ ass. You’d think Rob Coleman was Lucas’ favorite gimp when he isn’t animating CGI Yoda.
damn right bout jango (dumbest fuckin name ever. why not just dunce-skie or der-der)
What pisses me off about Jango (And sorry to those people who don’t like STAR WARS geeks bringing up the books) is that he shouldn’t have existed at all! Boba Fett was a name made up by an actual Mandalorian named Jaster Mareel after escaping from a prison planet. Instead of honouring the tie-in that would have made the stories infinitely better, George Lucas went on a bad writing spree and came up with the bullshit about the cloning.
You also have to love how easy it is to beat these amazing Mandalorians with the clever and cunning use of hitting their back pack. Seriously! Episode 2, Jango Vs Obi Wan, Jango’s back pack malfunctions and flies off without him. Good thing he installed those safety releases in case that ever happened, too bad Boba didn’t think to use them in Jedi. Later in Episode 2, Jango vs giant thingie, his back pack malfunctions and he can’t fly away from Jules and he gets his head removed for it. Cut to Jedi and of course a blind Harrison Ford takes out Boba like a bitch with a stick….yuuuup. SO bad assed!
Thing that makes ME laugh my balls off, is all the people bashing the “geeks” for shit about Boba all the while using books and comics as proof about how Lucas screwed things up. XD Spin off media is never canon when it comes to the guy that makes the shit up. Get over it.
I want Lucas to release an episode 7, just to piss off the geeks that take the fan fiction-esque books all too seriously. Is that so wrong of me to wish this?
Noah, I disagree with you about most things Star Wars related, and even in cases like this where I sort-of agree with you, I come at it from a different direction. Sure, Boba Fett looks good, but he’s just so incredibly bland. When he’s not being written by Karen Traviss (one of only two legitimately good turns she ever did Star Wars, the other being Mando’a), he has the personality of a damp napkin. I’ve read the Bounty Hunter Wars too, and they’re among my top ten most boring Star Wars media projects ever.
Nik, I love the Expanded Universe too (well, before Denning and Traviss with assistance from Allston and those Legacy jerks brought the entire franchise down into the lowest cycling vortex of hell and out the other side). On the other hand, I firmly agree that each and every story set within a larger universe should be perfectly accessible on its own. If Boba Fett, as a character, makes no sense in the movies, then bringing in outside sources does not fix his problematic portrayal in the movies, although it may help the character make more sense in the wider mythos. If you follow me.
Mistah J: “Hell, why don’t they just use bullets instead of lasers, since bullets can’t be deflected?”
Well, they can be disintegrated, which is what lightsabers generally do to kinetic objects, but at least bullets can’t be deflected BACK at you. So yes, slightly smarter that way.
… Also, Drizzt Do’Urden, at least in the first four books, is a one-dimensional wonder with about as much depth and interest to him as an empty goldfish bowl.
Hmm. I never thought much about boba fett. I remember him saying his line, as you wish. And i remember him falling into the vagina dentata of the desert. When i was a kid watching the vhs i was too busy play/pausing constantly to get a better view of princess in her slave girl outfit. My mom once caught me doing that and asked me what i was doing.