“…because, you know, science.”
Fun rant Spoony, now I don’t have to worry about seeing this one. I’m looking forward to the October reviews. Keep up the good work.
Hey Spoony. I know you think you’re going to get heat for not liking this movie, but I haven’t even heard of this movie. Plus your opinion is just that: your own opinion. What I was more curious about is why Event Horizon is so horrible? I read Moses’ box office bomb thread and he complimented the atmosphere of the movie. Personally Event Horizon is special to me because it’s one of the few movies to have actually given me nightmares when I saw it (I was 12).
So in the genera of ‘claustrophobic horror movie’, what movie would you recommend to see most? Serenity/Firefly or Alien or what?
Good review by the way. I found it entertaining even if the movie meant nothing to me.
You complain about them not freaking out when they’re in the filth, yet you bash on the navigator for freaking out when their home planet gets destroyed…..inconsistency….
Hey Spoony,
I think you are being alittle too harsh on this movie, I just watched it last night and it was nowhere near as bad as you make it out to be. I agree you won’t see it winning an oscar BUT, You say they mention Pandorum like once, even though it is a major theme through out the movie and contributes to the twist ending majorly. The monsters do kind of resemble the monsters from Descent but how else would a creature evolve in an almost lightless environment? Plus the monsters do have variation. Plus the naked dude( I forget his name) Doesn’t spend the whole movie saying “your all gonna die” He shows up like past half way and he slowly gets more hostile till the point where he says they should all evauate while they still can. I know this is a comedy site and you feel the need to bash things for comedy but atleast pay attention to the movie before you make a review.
Heh, when he talked about the creatures being tribal and leaping with spears and screeches, I kept thinking of the pygmy mummies from the Mummy Returns. Those were the exact things they did.
I haven’t had a chance to see the movie yet but I was kind of bummed to see yet another spaceship in a sci-fi horror movie that looked so dark and uninhabitable. That really is such a cliche now.
Thanks Spoony, you saved me some time & money. I was pretty interested in the flick until this vid and before discovering the metacritic score of 28/100. Ugh… trash.
Hmm good thing about this was it reminded me of Event Horizon. That movie was pretty awesome. I was like its the dude from Jurassic Park an he is craaazzzy!!
Eh, I thought Event Horizon was a tolerable, interesting two star affair. Haven’t seen Pandorum yet…but this has definitely put it on my “avoid paying money to see it” list.
That aside, if you have a head cold that comes and goes like that, man….you should probably go see a doctor (or a free clinic) and get some antibiotics. The long term and coming and going stuff is a telltale sign of a stubborn bacterial infection.
Still, I didn’t need RT to tell me you’re a top critic. Don’t worry about what we’re gonna say with these vlog reviews, just give your opinion and back it up.
Hey Spoony! Loved the review; in fact it’s what convinced us to go see the movie in the first place for a bit of a laugh. When we saw the commercial it didn’t even stick in our heads, although we’d probably seen it mayybee.. two/ three times before? But yeah anyway, awful film. Had us a few laughs, probably shouldn’t have payed though :/
Lol I have a question Spoony. Please take no offense but it is something I am curious. Is there any movie you like? It honestly seems you like no movie what so ever.
I am gonna have to respectfully disagree with you Spoony. I enjoyed the film. It seems like you didn’t get the whole twist at the end. Quade or however you spell his name and that crazy naked guy were the same dude. Pandorum makes you hallucinate. All the monsters and that crazy naked guy weren’t real. Maybe your head cold prevented you from seeing that one. The monters were Pandorum.
You didn’t get the movie. The monsters where real. They where always real. It was just in the end where the protagonist where starting to get hallucinations from pandorum in that ONE SCENE. Up until that point the monsters where always real. And after that they where still real, like when they where escaping the ship in a pod and one of the monsters presses its face against the glass. There where sientific proof (atleast in the movies own sense) that there where monsters, there was all that gore in the puddle they where standing in. If you are actually right and the monsters never existed, that makes this movie even dumber!
I really like Event Horizon. I’m a big fan of that flick.
Doesn’t mean that Pandorum is going to be any good just because it’s a similar style, of course. But I may give the eventual DVD a hire and make up my own mind.
Come on guys… monsters were real, quaid had some fight club hallucination while he was getting his memory back from cryosleep, quaid made the monsters before he went to sleep. movie was really really just ok…. go see Zombieland instead.
watch ‘Shrooms’ it has exactly the same twist at the end!
Apart from shrooms is awesome in a rediculous cheesy way, pandorum was just another mediocre sci fi
Im not aware if this has been brought up before in the comments, but i should mention this movie has the dubious honour of being evidently heavily based in Metamorphosis Alpha, the first science fiction pen and paper RPG ever. Go ahead and check it out, its an ancient role playing game (related to the more popular Gamma World) and has a similar premise to this movie.
I must say this. Pandorum is not a sci-fi horror movie. Its a Call of Cthulhu campaign in space, that got turned into a movie. also the crazy guy that killed the flight-crew, was denis quade. he puts the crazy guy in the pod, mutes the sound-system, but can still hear him, then the pod ‘explodes’ he tries to drug him, and then it just shows him laying there, having drugged himself. The crazy guy was a hallucination, he had pandorum, which isn’t so much ’space madness’ as much as it is feeling like you are the last of humanity, because of a lack of contact with earth. also the ‘twist’ at the end of where the ship actually was, I about shat myself. they open the windows and its all just black with no stars. and they made SUCH a point to show how shiney white and new the ship was, and then how it is for the rest of the movie its like “did they… drift… until the stars burnt out?…..”
As far as ‘good sci-fi horror’ goes. this is NOT one, but in terms of getting ideas for running any cthulhu or sci-fi, or generally horror tabletop RPG… well thats where this movie *finally* shines. Just figured i needed to say that, and since your the only one i’ve seen who’s reviewed it…. well… there’s my 2 cents.
I thought that Event Horizon was the business, scarry with good actors, and a fine soundtrack from the prodigy no less (if memory serves).
I do agree that in parts it made no sense , this was chiefly due to the movie being heavily edited prior to release, or so the story goes.
If anyone knows where there is an uncut version that would be cool (please note the special edition DVD is still the version you saw in cinemas).
Noah, if there was any movie. ANY movie in the world that I’d want to see you review. I’d want you to review Paranormal Activites. It’s the supposed horror film of the century or some shit like that. I haven’t seen it I’m too young to get it, but you can. SEE IT AND REVIEW IT FOR THE FANS WHO WERE TOO UNFORTUNATE TO SEE IT!!!
I havent seen the movie, but from what you described….it sounds like a Sci Fi channel Sat morning movie. Oh shit sir ya wanna talk “no inspiration no inovation” look up Cyprus Hills Cyprus sumthin studios. They have such masterpieces as Spacehunter, and Metalstorm the destruction of Jared Syn, and Ice Pirates. Talk about crazy 80s Sci Fi on a Sat morn. You will love them. BTW More friggin Ripper pleez!
That studio had a thing for Mad Max films and tricked out every all terrain vehicle with crazy accesories same as Mad max. Was to funny to watch. I still love Yor! That was awesome to see someone review something from our youth. Spoony you are the man!
i saw the movie just too see really what i could see about pandorm and well your not exactly right about no one having pandorm the movie isn’t bad but it’s far from good alot of cliches in there that make you cringe like that the main nest of these “evlolved humans.” was in the reactor i mean i know you have to make this tense by making it seem like there is no way to do this but i mean come on there has to be a better way to do that. and the ending was pretty predictable when they opened up the panels and there was no stars i was like what the hell there is no way they over shot tinus and like landed at the end of the universe they must have landed somehow.
there is also alot of rip off moments from better movies like aliens and a few other sci-fi movies but i forgot what those movies were it’s just eye roll worthy thus way the movie wasn’t great. but it did keep the tension going rather well i was on the edge of my seat a few times in the movie which is rare cause i don’t get that tense during most sci-fi lately,
so i’d say see it again in dvd or something when you well you may have a slightly different review to give but again you mention i nthe video that nobody seems to have pandorum and yet they do.
I don’t know if it was posted before, but here goes.
Not really a big deal but spoony got some stuff wrong about the plot. Posting this cause I saw that movie two nights ago and it’s still in my head.
The monsters weren’t injected by the crazy guy, they were given the mutagen thingy during the sleep process, the mutagen thingy is designed to make humans adapt to their enviroment faster (speeding evolution, oh and this is just wrong, evolution does not work that way) so the crazy guy starts to toss them into sealed parts of the ship and starve them and torture them and the mutagen thingy makes them adapt to that.
The other guys don’t turn because they haven’t been awake long enough.
They knew it was a colonization trip.
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“…because, you know, science.”
Fun rant Spoony, now I don’t have to worry about seeing this one. I’m looking forward to the October reviews. Keep up the good work.
Hey Spoony. I know you think you’re going to get heat for not liking this movie, but I haven’t even heard of this movie. Plus your opinion is just that: your own opinion. What I was more curious about is why Event Horizon is so horrible? I read Moses’ box office bomb thread and he complimented the atmosphere of the movie. Personally Event Horizon is special to me because it’s one of the few movies to have actually given me nightmares when I saw it (I was 12).
So in the genera of ‘claustrophobic horror movie’, what movie would you recommend to see most? Serenity/Firefly or Alien or what?
Good review by the way. I found it entertaining even if the movie meant nothing to me.
You complain about them not freaking out when they’re in the filth, yet you bash on the navigator for freaking out when their home planet gets destroyed…..inconsistency….
Hey Spoony,
I think you are being alittle too harsh on this movie, I just watched it last night and it was nowhere near as bad as you make it out to be. I agree you won’t see it winning an oscar BUT, You say they mention Pandorum like once, even though it is a major theme through out the movie and contributes to the twist ending majorly. The monsters do kind of resemble the monsters from Descent but how else would a creature evolve in an almost lightless environment? Plus the monsters do have variation. Plus the naked dude( I forget his name) Doesn’t spend the whole movie saying “your all gonna die” He shows up like past half way and he slowly gets more hostile till the point where he says they should all evauate while they still can. I know this is a comedy site and you feel the need to bash things for comedy but atleast pay attention to the movie before you make a review.
I think maybe Spoony has SPACE MADNESS!
Heh, when he talked about the creatures being tribal and leaping with spears and screeches, I kept thinking of the pygmy mummies from the Mummy Returns. Those were the exact things they did.
i like you
Anchor’s concept of inconsistency is wrong. :P
I haven’t had a chance to see the movie yet but I was kind of bummed to see yet another spaceship in a sci-fi horror movie that looked so dark and uninhabitable. That really is such a cliche now.
Thanks Spoony, you saved me some time & money. I was pretty interested in the flick until this vid and before discovering the metacritic score of 28/100. Ugh… trash.
Hmm good thing about this was it reminded me of Event Horizon. That movie was pretty awesome. I was like its the dude from Jurassic Park an he is craaazzzy!!
Eh, I thought Event Horizon was a tolerable, interesting two star affair. Haven’t seen Pandorum yet…but this has definitely put it on my “avoid paying money to see it” list.
That aside, if you have a head cold that comes and goes like that, man….you should probably go see a doctor (or a free clinic) and get some antibiotics. The long term and coming and going stuff is a telltale sign of a stubborn bacterial infection.
Get better, dude.
Rotten Tomatoast Community: 77%
Top Critics: 32%
Still, I didn’t need RT to tell me you’re a top critic. Don’t worry about what we’re gonna say with these vlog reviews, just give your opinion and back it up.
Nicely done as always. Looking forward to the next review.
Are you ever going to finish the Ripper video series?
Hey Spoony! Loved the review; in fact it’s what convinced us to go see the movie in the first place for a bit of a laugh. When we saw the commercial it didn’t even stick in our heads, although we’d probably seen it mayybee.. two/ three times before? But yeah anyway, awful film. Had us a few laughs, probably shouldn’t have payed though :/
Lol I have a question Spoony. Please take no offense but it is something I am curious. Is there any movie you like? It honestly seems you like no movie what so ever.
I am gonna have to respectfully disagree with you Spoony. I enjoyed the film. It seems like you didn’t get the whole twist at the end. Quade or however you spell his name and that crazy naked guy were the same dude. Pandorum makes you hallucinate. All the monsters and that crazy naked guy weren’t real. Maybe your head cold prevented you from seeing that one. The monters were Pandorum.
Just once, I want to see a movie where someone wakes up out of cryosleep on a claustrophobic spaceship, all alone, the other cryopods are empty…
…gets to the bridge, which is also dark…
…and suddenly the lights flick on and everyone’s all “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”
@ Jimmy the traveler
You didn’t get the movie. The monsters where real. They where always real. It was just in the end where the protagonist where starting to get hallucinations from pandorum in that ONE SCENE. Up until that point the monsters where always real. And after that they where still real, like when they where escaping the ship in a pod and one of the monsters presses its face against the glass. There where sientific proof (atleast in the movies own sense) that there where monsters, there was all that gore in the puddle they where standing in. If you are actually right and the monsters never existed, that makes this movie even dumber!
@ Gunther
Yeah, that’d be great! lol
Whenever somebody says “The Descent”, I keep thinking about that classic PC game where you re-enact Return of the Jedi at the end of each level.
Fun times.
Earth..Earth’s gone Arrrrrgggghhhhhh
LOL
it was bad but it was still fun to see me and my mates were laghing trogh half of this movie so yere lol
I really like Event Horizon. I’m a big fan of that flick.
Doesn’t mean that Pandorum is going to be any good just because it’s a similar style, of course. But I may give the eventual DVD a hire and make up my own mind.
Come on guys… monsters were real, quaid had some fight club hallucination while he was getting his memory back from cryosleep, quaid made the monsters before he went to sleep. movie was really really just ok…. go see Zombieland instead.
watch ‘Shrooms’ it has exactly the same twist at the end!
Apart from shrooms is awesome in a rediculous cheesy way, pandorum was just another mediocre sci fi
Im not aware if this has been brought up before in the comments, but i should mention this movie has the dubious honour of being evidently heavily based in Metamorphosis Alpha, the first science fiction pen and paper RPG ever. Go ahead and check it out, its an ancient role playing game (related to the more popular Gamma World) and has a similar premise to this movie.
you spoony bard.
I must say this. Pandorum is not a sci-fi horror movie. Its a Call of Cthulhu campaign in space, that got turned into a movie. also the crazy guy that killed the flight-crew, was denis quade. he puts the crazy guy in the pod, mutes the sound-system, but can still hear him, then the pod ‘explodes’ he tries to drug him, and then it just shows him laying there, having drugged himself. The crazy guy was a hallucination, he had pandorum, which isn’t so much ’space madness’ as much as it is feeling like you are the last of humanity, because of a lack of contact with earth. also the ‘twist’ at the end of where the ship actually was, I about shat myself. they open the windows and its all just black with no stars. and they made SUCH a point to show how shiney white and new the ship was, and then how it is for the rest of the movie its like “did they… drift… until the stars burnt out?…..”
As far as ‘good sci-fi horror’ goes. this is NOT one, but in terms of getting ideas for running any cthulhu or sci-fi, or generally horror tabletop RPG… well thats where this movie *finally* shines. Just figured i needed to say that, and since your the only one i’ve seen who’s reviewed it…. well… there’s my 2 cents.
I saw the trailer and thought this was going to be a crap–>mediocre movie. Guess I was right wahey!
I thought that Event Horizon was the business, scarry with good actors, and a fine soundtrack from the prodigy no less (if memory serves).
I do agree that in parts it made no sense , this was chiefly due to the movie being heavily edited prior to release, or so the story goes.
If anyone knows where there is an uncut version that would be cool (please note the special edition DVD is still the version you saw in cinemas).
Noah, if there was any movie. ANY movie in the world that I’d want to see you review. I’d want you to review Paranormal Activites. It’s the supposed horror film of the century or some shit like that. I haven’t seen it I’m too young to get it, but you can. SEE IT AND REVIEW IT FOR THE FANS WHO WERE TOO UNFORTUNATE TO SEE IT!!!
I havent seen the movie, but from what you described….it sounds like a Sci Fi channel Sat morning movie. Oh shit sir ya wanna talk “no inspiration no inovation” look up Cyprus Hills Cyprus sumthin studios. They have such masterpieces as Spacehunter, and Metalstorm the destruction of Jared Syn, and Ice Pirates. Talk about crazy 80s Sci Fi on a Sat morn. You will love them. BTW More friggin Ripper pleez!
That studio had a thing for Mad Max films and tricked out every all terrain vehicle with crazy accesories same as Mad max. Was to funny to watch. I still love Yor! That was awesome to see someone review something from our youth. Spoony you are the man!
Spoony i don’t know if someone else said this but dennis quaid was that guy going crazy because earth was destroyed.
is that a highlander 2 poster i see in the background?? LMAO
I dont care how Sick you are. I would Drag you to every bad movie posable and a cupple of good ones, Your brothers lucky
Haha same Latieraeve.
Spoony: Dude, no man, I think I need to go to a hospital
Me: STFU SPOONY… We’re seeing the new Freddy Krueger movie…
i saw the movie just too see really what i could see about pandorm and well your not exactly right about no one having pandorm the movie isn’t bad but it’s far from good alot of cliches in there that make you cringe like that the main nest of these “evlolved humans.” was in the reactor i mean i know you have to make this tense by making it seem like there is no way to do this but i mean come on there has to be a better way to do that. and the ending was pretty predictable when they opened up the panels and there was no stars i was like what the hell there is no way they over shot tinus and like landed at the end of the universe they must have landed somehow.
there is also alot of rip off moments from better movies like aliens and a few other sci-fi movies but i forgot what those movies were it’s just eye roll worthy thus way the movie wasn’t great. but it did keep the tension going rather well i was on the edge of my seat a few times in the movie which is rare cause i don’t get that tense during most sci-fi lately,
so i’d say see it again in dvd or something when you well you may have a slightly different review to give but again you mention i nthe video that nobody seems to have pandorum and yet they do.
Bad movie indeed.
I don’t know if it was posted before, but here goes.
Not really a big deal but spoony got some stuff wrong about the plot. Posting this cause I saw that movie two nights ago and it’s still in my head.
The monsters weren’t injected by the crazy guy, they were given the mutagen thingy during the sleep process, the mutagen thingy is designed to make humans adapt to their enviroment faster (speeding evolution, oh and this is just wrong, evolution does not work that way) so the crazy guy starts to toss them into sealed parts of the ship and starve them and torture them and the mutagen thingy makes them adapt to that.
The other guys don’t turn because they haven’t been awake long enough.
They knew it was a colonization trip.
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