The Spoony Experiment

My response to Film Brain’s review of Inglourious Basterds.

by Spoony on September 21, 2009 · 633 comments

A lower score than Transformers 2?

Um, yeah.

Seriously, I oughta slap you until the stupid falls out.

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{ 633 comments… read them below or add one }

601
A-Bomb September 27, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Damn right Spoony! And yes EonsPast, it was necessary. Those assholes on TGWTG really don’t let you post anything negative. I got banned from their site for expressing my dissatisfaction with one of their former artists. The funny thing is that negativity is what most of these sties feed on. Personally I enjoy it; but they won’t let you say a negative word to anyone creating for them. Oh the hypocrisy.

602
cthulhu September 27, 2009 at 9:07 pm

yay retarded blind followers!

603
blitz013 September 27, 2009 at 9:32 pm

spoony you do realize that a review of a movie or video game is a complete bias, and we as humans have a right to express that opinion without judgement. so in my opinion spoony, you are a smug critic and you should go fuck yourself then, kill yourself, and finally rot in hell.

604
Saiser September 28, 2009 at 6:21 am

blitz013, so Spoony doesn’t have a “right to express that opinion without judgment” concerning the wrongness of Film Brain’s ranking? On the basis of opinion, it’s impossible to condemn Spoony without falling into utter hypocrisy. And it is indeed very hypocritical that a site that is so devoted to negativity and criticism such as TGWTG is so strung-up concerning negative comments about their personalities.

This is one of those cases where there is no logical divide of opinion. This is directly akin to ranking “Epic Movie” higher than “Dr. Strangelove”, it’s an indefensible position that one deserves to get smacked upside the head for expressing.

605
Caligula September 28, 2009 at 10:44 am

I for one think that Transformers 2 is leagues above IB.
although i disagree with Spoony, I still think he is funny and that’s why i watch this was extremely funny, i saved the arnold macro.

606
Saiser September 28, 2009 at 11:11 am

Then you should roll out some Stanley Kubrick, James Cameron, Ridley Scott and John Carpenter (though Carpenter is something of a hit-and-miss) until you can tell the difference between quality cinema and the unholy abominations that are the modern Bay-Boll-Friedberg/Seltzer trifecta.

Even from a mindless action standpoint Bay utterly fails. The only halfway decent movie in that regard he ever produced (and I do mean barely halfway) was The Rock, and I mostly credit that to the talents of Sean Connery and Ed Harris. Michael Biehn is also memorable even in his bit part. Watch Die Hard (hell, even Die Hard 2), Predator (and again, hell even Predator 2), Aliens, the list goes on of examples of genuinely good action movies.

607
phoenix September 28, 2009 at 11:27 am

I giggle so hard at people calling this an unfair attack. My god, an angry online reviewer violently disagreeing with someone? How unprofessional! He should apologize immediately for being an opinionated cynic!

Wait…isn’t that entirely what he and film brain do?

Oh, I get it…they should only be hilariously over-the-top angry and offer opinions when you think they should. Of course.

608
Caligula September 28, 2009 at 2:53 pm

@Saiser

I do love Carpenter, Cameron, Kubrick, and Scott. But I also like Bay, comparing Bay to Boll is hardly fair, even if you hate Bay, he is still more talented than Boll. I also love Tarantino, but i just though that IB, was not his best showing I love Resevoir Dogs, Kill Bill vol1, and Pulp Fiction.
and I adore Cameron’s Terminator films :D

but even Cameron has made some dumb movie’s don’t believe me watch “the Lost Tomb of Jesus” it’s lame even for a documentary, and it’s completely innacurate. my point is even the best film makers make some bad movies some times. and i never said that i liked Transformers 2, better than any of Tarantino’s other works or even any of the film makers you mentioned. all i sadi was i liked it better than IB. just like i like Spoony better than Brain.

609
Saiser September 28, 2009 at 3:47 pm

@Caligula

I clearly had a false impression of you, I apologize for jumping to conclusions. I must concede that Bay is superior to Boll, but a bag of rotten lettuce would be a superior filmmaker to Boll, and similarly I think that even Boll is superior to the Anti-Christs of cinema that are Friedberg/Seltzer. As Spoony often points out, with Boll at least his films usually are laughable in their badness, and the commentary tracks usually rank amongst the funniest things on the planet. With Friedberg and Seltzer… you just know you’ve stepped into Movie Hell.

And I’m not contesting that James Cameron has made some bad and truly dumb movies, but “The Lost Tomb of Jesus” really only half-counts because James Cameron was only executive producer, it was directed, written and produced by other people. It’s definitely the worst movie he’s worked on, but it doesn’t really qualify as a movie he made. I was actually going to point to his Titanic as a movie that, while not truly “bad” in the sense of “McG bad” or “Paul W. S. Andersen bad”, was in all good conscience not a very good movie. It’s long, tedious, much of the romance plot makes little sense or feels stilted, and the ending just makes no damn sense. Even Kubrick, probably the greatest modern director (Dr. Strangelove is my favorite film of all time, and A Clockwork Orange is up in the top 5, Spartacus and 2001 would definitely go in the top 20), has been known to falter, Eyes Wide Shut being an excellent example of a genius director stumbling over himself.

And I’m similarly a big Tarantino fan, my favorites are the same three you put up (though, in Kill Bill’s case, he would have done better to just excise all of Part 1 and Part 2 and only left in the fight with Gogo and the Crazy 88, albeit then we wouldn’t see John Carradine’s kickass performance…), I even found quite a bit of merit in Death Proof (let the hate comments commence), and I felt that this movie, while certainly not his best or his “masterpiece”, was a very good and very earnest attempt to recapture the magic he had back when he was making Pulp Fiction.

610
Professor Centipede September 28, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Well, Spoony has those FInal Fantasy 8 dolls, so you really can’t trust anything he says…

(Yes, I am joking.)

I hope this thing ends up in some kind of Spoony/Film Brain crossover review/fight. It would be cool to see two of my favourite reviewers on That Guy with the Glasses do a skit together.

Of course, the distance would pose a problem…

611
Saiser September 28, 2009 at 4:39 pm

They could do a “video crossover”. Collaborate on a script via e-mail, both shoot their sides separately, then have one of them work on editing the two together. Like what NC and AVGN did on a few of their videos where they exchanged insults. It would be a glorious event.

612
Mr. Jingles September 28, 2009 at 7:53 pm

I miss Booze Zombie. Any chance of him coming back?

613
PCee September 28, 2009 at 8:25 pm

Wow I’ve been following these comments for a while and i can’t believe it’s gone over six hundred! I guess the internet is some serious business for some people huh?

614
Horror Princess September 29, 2009 at 3:14 am

No the fact that the world is filling up with idiots is serious business.

615
Caligula September 29, 2009 at 5:48 am

@ Saiser

thanks, for taking back the judgement

616
Maggie September 29, 2009 at 7:53 am

The rage in my heart when reading that review was immense. That limey was probably just pissed that the British guy was so stiff-upper-lip and orders drinks the wrong way, whereas the French, Germans and Americans are all BADASS in comparison.

617
Wanted4Sin September 29, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Inglourious Basterds is complete dogshit.

618
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 9:34 am

Don’t you see how hypocritical you all are for dissing on Spoony dissing on someone? It’s his opinion and right to hate someone. No one cares when he hates on Uwe Boll. He’s a human too. Why shouldn’t he hate on Film Brain if he hates something he says? It’s not like he’s even on TV or the radio saying this stuff. Why should you be offended by his opinion on HIS website? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

619
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 9:36 am

If Film Brain couldn’t take some heart, he shouldn’t be a critique in the first place.

Fuck y’all.

620
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 10:37 am

“He’s not insulting Quentin Tarantino, he’s insulting Quentin Tarantino’s film, Gunlock.”

Uh, he called QT a 16 year old. After saying Micheal Bay wasn’t.

Heh.

621
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 10:52 am

“If anyone with a moderately functioning Brain doesn’t get the Movie it is not the fault of that Viewer, it’s the fault of the Movie for not being able to deliver its message properly.”

That’s a pretty stupid statement.

622
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 11:23 am

I haven’t seen either film, but I’ll bet Transformers is better. Quentin Tarantino is among the worst directors I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t stomach Kill Bill for more than 10 seconds before wanting to throw my television out the window. At least Michael Bay’s films are good if you’re retarded. Tarantino’s films are bad no matter what you do.

That doesn’t make any sense. It’s okay to like something if you’re retarded, but even if you are retarded you can’t like IB, which you didn’t even see?

Wtf?

623
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 11:25 am

If I claimed my fervent belief that the Earth was diamond shaped and being carried between the claws of two gigantic blue lobsters named Mindy and Kikork past a huge black cloth backdrop of stars, I wouldn’t expect you to say “you’re entitled to your opinion”, I’d expect you to find out how raving stupid such an opinion.

Anything is possible. Maybe they are invisible.

624
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 11:30 am

“Expect FB is actually smart, does research and knows what he’s talking about”

That’s not true. He does leave out a lof of information and bashes on a movie for the wrong things.

625
Yeah September 30, 2009 at 4:54 pm

“If anyone with a moderately functioning Brain doesn’t get the Movie it is not the fault of that Viewer, it’s the fault of the Movie for not being able to deliver its message properly.”

That’s like saying if a kid willingly took the SATS and failed it is the fault of the test maker.

626
Yeah October 1, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Penis Pie, MMMMMM!

627
Kyle Burrows October 4, 2009 at 12:55 pm

I love how this has just in effect made Film Brain’s attention and awareness to the Spoony public by two fold.
Moreover, you can actually understand why FB gave Inglorious Basterds the review that he did. I recommend people to first listen to his interview on Transmission Awesome if you haven’t already, where he basically says that one important thing he wants from a movie is character development, which IB rarely has in most of it’s characters. So you can understand his reasoning if he feels so strongly about character development, unlike Spoony (and me for that matter :P) aren’t really that affected by as long as the rest of the movie’s solid.
Oh yeah I’d choose IB to Transformers 2 any day, but I’m a Tarantino Fanboy. And there a LOT of Tarantino fanboys, just like there are Transformers fanboys. You could see why they liked the second one as it was more robot concentrated, more to what the cartoon series was.
I’m just wondering if the story would be different if Transformers 2 came out at the same time as Deathproof.
Overall, I love you Spoony and all that you’ve done BUT YOU COULD’VE BEEN A BIT MORE SUBTLE!!!!! I mean you know how sadistic some of your viewers are to have a chance to rip on FB if you’ve read the comments on this topic.

628
James Murray October 7, 2009 at 4:18 pm

He likes Roger Ebert who knows fuck all about film and the only difference between Inglorious Bastards and Transformers 2 was I was intelligent and artistic enough to know Inglorious Bastards would be shit when it got a worse review than the original and was a Tarantino “effort” and also I downloaded Transformers 2 rather than being dumb enough to pay money to watch it. The first was average, fair warning.

629
Joe October 8, 2009 at 7:44 pm

I’m pretty sure this was the same guy who thought “Equilibrum” was a bad movie. Guy has no taste.

630
Saiser October 8, 2009 at 7:54 pm

@ James Murray

Actually, Ebert is just the only critic he throws a bone to, he basically savages him and every other critic. The instant after Spoony says that Ebert is the only professional critic to ever be remotely trustworthy he says, “Don’t let your movie decisions be decided by them, or even by me”.

And “I was intelligent and artistic enough to know Inglorious Bastards would be shit when it got a worse review than the original” proves just how fucking stupid you are. There is no “original”. There’s an obscure Italian WW2 film called “Inglorious Bastards” from which “Inglourious Basterds” derives its name but otherwise no connection exists. It’s like saying that the third “The Enforcer” with Jet Li was worse than the sequel starring Clint Eastwood, which in turn was not as good as the original starring Humphrey Bogart, when the three movies have nothing at all in common apart from their title. And I’m curious as to what review said it was inferior to the old Italian movie, you cite nothing and I find it hard to believe that any professional critic would attack the movie with such a bizarre comparison.

Lastly, you watched Transformers 2 of your own volition and have it stored on your hard disk for your viewing pleasure? That is not something I would brag about, as that rather swiftly dumps you into the category of human beings so well represented in the Darwin Awards that most people with a nice thing to say about the new Transformers series belong to. Please crawl back into your hole and stop diluting the general stream of human thought with your worthless opinions.

631
O_O October 9, 2009 at 1:32 pm

both are exploitive pieces of crap.

632
Azerth October 12, 2009 at 10:50 am

Your a bit of a fanboy Spoony

633
PinkGunpowder October 12, 2009 at 10:35 pm

@618
Actually just watched Tansformers 2. Fuck what I said in 618, Spooy was if anything too subtle. God that movie sucks harder than i could have imagined.

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