This special movie review brings my brother Miles in front of the camera, as we discuss the newest cinematic abomination created by the shit-flinging monkeychild Michael Bay.
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This special movie review brings my brother Miles in front of the camera, as we discuss the newest cinematic abomination created by the shit-flinging monkeychild Michael Bay.
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well since the joke begain i thought i would rewatch what you hated about the moive and the sheer look of anger on your face again made it great fun little flame thing just keep it coming next go after some one for liking kingdom of the crystal skool
I actually enjoyed the first one (I didn’t grow up with it and have no attatchment to the franchise, so that probably has something to do with it), but Fallen was the worst movie I’ve ever seen after Die Another Day.
You should bring Miles on more often, you two are funny together. :P
I wish all critics were as blunt as you guys are. Oh and that people would listen. Because maybe people wouldnt go see these God awful movies. Meaning that there would be no profit for the movie studios. Leading to increased quality in movie making. Its a win-win situation! We get comedy from you guys, we save money not seeing these shity movies, and movie studios actually put time and effort into making good original movies. I guess thats more a win-win-win situation. Even the movie studios win in the long run, they might lose money at the start with some shity movies that have come along to far to stop. But eventually they make good money on good movies, and they get the satisfaction of knowing they are making quality movies maybe bordering on actual films. You know something to be proud of. Maybe im way far off, but if this makes sense to anyone else please post up and let me know.
ANYTHING with Shia LaBeouf is just plain awful. Every character he’s ever played on film is basically the same character. He’ll never be anything else but that little Disney twerp he was years ago. I’m sorry you had to waste your money on this, guys.
Why do you even OWN Twilight, Spoony? Talk about complete shit!
the review made me curious of this piece of shit movie,
just watched it online, and i have to say, yes it is bad, stupid, boring and long,
but action scenes are decent, if you turn of your brain you can probobly enjoy some parts of it,
ho boy, talking about Caligula – now there is a dick movie for you,
gee – thanks for bringing it back, ouch
* turn off (not of) – sorry for my bad english
Hooray for Spoony!
Finally, a review of T2 that really captures my feelings towards it. All those bland reviews supposedly panning it and smacking it down by “only” giving it 1.5 stars ought to be fired from their jobs, you said exactly what needed to be said about this unholy abomination of cinema. This has actually helped me be even more forthright with all the people on campus who actually liked fucking Transformers 2.
The one movie I might have disagreed with you on that list was your call on Pearl Harbor. I mean… that’s a tough choice because they’re both so colossally impossible to sit through with your sanity intact. I picture someone putting a gun to my head and demanding I choose between watching T2 or Pearl Harbor again, the more I run through those movies in my head the more suicide seems a reasonable third option.
Spoony, I’m gonna have to be Jesus if I am to be punished for my sins. I saw this movie in the theater TWICE! I have no clue what I was thinking. Maybe I thought that the movie would make more sense the 2nd time, but it didn’t. At all. So either you’ll have to kill me (before I kill myself) twice or give me the slowest, most painful death possible: kittens licking at my neck until I’m dead. Seriously that would be torture. Oh and Saiser do NOT refer to this movie as T2. That is always going to belong to Terminator 2.
Ey Spoony, I saw your review a while back and saw the actual movie just 2 days ago for the first time so I decided to come back and drop my point of view :)
1st, twin bots racist. Hmm, do all people talk the same? English alone has many accents and street-types, and the “word, word what up yo” wannabee-gangsta talk is not unlike how some ppl in america speak.
Just because you know where this talk is coming from doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed for knowing or feel offended. It’s just wack wannabee-nuggah-gangsta speak.
Jetfire spoke british, I hear nothing about his accent in your review. I mention this because the robots learned to talk through the web (yes, sounds lame, but this was mentioned in TF1).
Americans seem so self-centered to go point-finger-to-someone-else-mode on alot of things the moment their brain whispers “hey, that’s black talk/nugguh talk”. Nothing wrong with thinking like that because it’s fact. On a side-note, Jar-jar was just an annoying fuck, I never thought “Ooooh, he speaks non-standard american english, sounds black, ooh how offensive, racist Lucas!”
2nd, teleportation by Jetfire (old decepticon turned autobot, as in the cartoons) : SPACEBRIDGE tech, also mentioned in the movie. The decepticons in the cartoons used the spacebridge to teleport to cybertron and back to earth when needed.
3rd, surface hologram tech used (as in the cartoons) explains the decepticon/blonde chick.
4th, they made jetfire almost Gobot-ish simple, too make him see older, more vintage. Guess they had to figure a way to pull this off in the movie also, but from a different angle. The cane was lame, but not bothersome.
5th, “robot-heaven”, Sam touched the Matrix and Sam never actually died (much like the cliché crap in many other movies when the heart stops and after some loving words they pop right awake). I’m not gonna explain about how and why, but the Matrix and the Primes have quite a history in TF lore, research it and you’ll understand this “robot-heaven” ;)
I agree with you guys on the parents in Egypt, they were just there all of a sudden. I also, in hindsight, agree on the amount of comic relief, it didn’t really bother me on actual watching, but to shorten the movie, it could have done with alot less.
In general, I thought the movie was better than TF1 though, better fx, better action (chaotic sometimes, but it’s a Bay movie, nothing new there), many robot fights.
Take a look at a random G1 cartoon episode and compare it with TF2 minus comic relief. Not much difference in terms of what both set out to do, so that’s a good thing imo.
Edit to above post: “too make him see older” = “to make him seem older in the cartoons”
It was pretty much all flash with no substance.
“Take a look at a random G1 cartoon episode and compare it with TF2 minus comic relief. Not much difference in terms of what both set out to do, so that’s a good thing imo.”
Both were made to sell toys, G1 created a universe with memorable characters and a soul, while the Bay movies created generic action movies with awful mecha designs, purely leeching off the success of previous universes.
I couldn’t stand Transformers 2 when my friends wanted to see it (note: they didn’t see 1 and it was just a last second decision) I sighed I knew it was bad, but they were going to the arcade after so I basically had to go.
BUT IT WAS SO GODAWFUL when the fucking gangster bots showed up It basically ended for me right there.
I am kinda looking forward to the 3′rd movie just so I can see spoony almost committing suicide xD (AGAIN!)
I agree with you 110% Spoony. And I’m SO proud to say I didn’t waste a single damn cent to see this abomination. At least watching it online I could pause it for puke breaks.
I went to it and as it is I am totally numb to it. I left totally indifferent to the whole thing. I know what I saw was bad but yet I can’t elicit any emotion towards it.
On Eragon better or worse…and I know this comment may be late but I do have an opinion, and that opinion is ERAGON IS WORSE than Transformers. Not only…not only did it rip off Star Wars and LotR but it brutally raped the concept of the BOOK just everything after Eragon’s shack of a house being burned down and his family getting killed just diverged way the hell off course as compared to the book. I know differences are expected from Book to Movie transitions but Jesus Christ that just had nothing in common besides the basic. It’s like the took the characters and the dictionary of fake words in the back and just made something entirely different! I guess you haven’t read the book or if you have you might have still thought it was a rip off but damn it that movie sucked.
Just got done watching your review. You do have a great point about the movie why I don’t like Micheal Bay movies. I get that the ploit was god awful long that they should of shorten it. The storyline had no meaning what so ever of what’s going on that I get too, but I’ve seen worse movies then Transformers that I wish I hadn’t seen. I could pull the worst movie ever then transformers. I like that you pulled out all the movies I f**king hate badly and good choices of bad movies. Like I said I only went to see it because MAGEN FOX IS HOT!!!!!! So wrong for her to be in movies. Especially when there bad. Yes hot Magen fox might work for others, but not this cat no more
Tell me when you go to see Transformers 3, I wanna join your massacre. These Transformers movies REALLY BLOW!!!
Oh man, I cracked up when I heard that the audience applauded.
‘transformers made you turn on oliver stone. i dont know who you are anymore’
brilliant
the ROTF toys suck monkey fuck as well
I have to say. Your brother looks to me like Desmond Miles from Assassin’s Creed. (You know, the modern day guy in the flashback machine who nobody cared about?) Also, his first name is Desmond’s last name.
Awesome review Spoony. I could not have articulated my reactions to this movie better myself.
Do more reviews with Miles, you guys are good together.
Long time watcher, first time commenter, but I gotta say I absolutely love your stuff man. I’ve watched your 40 minute review several times, I liked it that much. My favorite parts have definitely got to be the beginning and the end, where you just unleash your full rage on the people that go to watch crap like this. It’s so refreshing to see a critic actually blame the source that perpetuates awful movies like these. Of course there’s the inevitable “how dare you say I’m a bad person for watching this” backlash, but that’s to be expected. Just so nice to see hate directed at where it’s deserved sometimes. Thanks for this.
I wouldn’t say the ebonics speaking robots are racist, just incredibly cheesy.
Wow, FINALLY there’s someone who has seen absolutely the best series of all-time: Babylon 5. That series is just above everything else. Even though I am not a regular sci-fi-fan, this series just hooks me every time. And it’s more of emotions and character evolving anyway.
And overally nice video, I really enjoy watching your vids! :)
i feel kinda bad for what i’m about to say but: i enjoyed this movie. i know it was crap, but i tend to just shut off my brain when i watch a movie. But even with my thought processes being 70% ‘ooo, pretty explosions’ and 20% ‘eat popcorn’ there was still 10% going ‘would it have been that hard to make the decepticons different colours? it looks like prime is fighting 10 megatrons’
in regards to the whole ‘only a prime can kill the fallen’ i actually came up with what, in my mind, could have been a far cooler ending, which would justify why, and make sam a much more important character, AND remove the whole ‘death means nothing’ BS: optimus isn’t revived by the matrix. sam goes through the robot heaven scene, and is told that his actions show determination and hope and blah blah blah cheesy crap but whatever, he’s told that he is now sam prime, then he gets up, his eyes glow blue, he picks up the matrix, which it turns out fell to dust because it was touched by a non-prime, and then fights the fallen with it, in a scene somewhat like the shadow of the collosus games. i think it could have made a far more interesting fight with sam dodging shots from the fallen as he runs towards him, ducking and weaving around all these punches that would kill him in one hit, slashing out fuel lines and stuff with the matrix, ending with him stabbing the matrix into the fallen, which then causes it to die in some spectacular way. and this would explain why only a prime can kill the fallen, only a prime can hold the matrix, and only the matrix can kill him.
Great review you guys. And yes, I went and saw this movie in theaters…and you guys actually addressed some issues that I had with the movie. Like the fact that you can’t tell which transformer is who besides Optimus Prime and Bumblebee…and Startscream (for his annoying voice only)…every other decepticon and transformer is pretty much impossible to tell who’s who. And the other one you mentioned is the one about the parents just fucking showing up in Egypt. And them being IN Egypt was completely pointless as well because then they start getting sent away ANYWAYS. And though you didn’t mention this…there’s one part that perplexed me…after the fighting was all over…the movie ended like…..5 minutes later…the ending was TOTALLY anticlimactice.
Anyways, I’ll say it again. Great review, and you SHOULD bring your brother on more often Spoony, the two of you are great together. And if everyone could be blunt as you about movies like this, maybe people would start listening and not go see shit movies..
And Spoony…you touched on two movies I hate with a passion…though I have not seen them the whole way through…I hate them with a passion. Twilight and Eragon. The book that was based off of wasn’t great…but the book was light-years better than the piece of shit movie that spawned from it. And Twilight…..don’t even get me started on that…>_< gah…yes…I'll admit I was a fan…but once the last book came out….I actually have not finished the last book of that series because I came to hate it so much.
Keep up the good work Spoony! And love you to pieces <3
Shame on you for owning Twilight.
I bought this movie on DVD and I can sum it up in a few words: “gogogogogo” and “BUMBLEBEE!!” which are also the only intelligible lines in the entire movie.
I also just love how they go to Egypt (aka “Vegas”) using “spacebridge” technology (what exactly this is and why they tunnel underground when it’s called “spacebridge” is never explained).
Let’s not forget about the cultural insensitivity, sexist humour, and childish swearing which can be seen all throughout this so-called “kid’s movie.” Seriously, if people are defending this movie on the grounds that this is a “kid’s movie” then they probably forgot all of the times the characters said “bitch” and “pussy.”
Uhhh I feel your pain about the Audience applauding
My retarded friend “By friend I mean guy who brakes into my house and annoys the shit out of me” Told me that transformers 2 was some sort of amazing movie
but didn’t watch District 9 because and I Quote “The Beginning was boring and dumb”
he also Liked Halloween 2
I’ve never seen such a unfunny movie since Epic movie
The action was Average to Confusing
and I haven’t seen Shia LaBeouf in a Movie with this many holes since he was in the Movie Holes
BaZiiing
the only thing I disagree with that I saw being worst than Transformers 2 is Twilight
I mean Transformers 2 was annoying and stupid as all hell
but Twilight was the most painfully boring thing ever
I mean at least I could think to myself how awful transformers 2 was
Twilight was just why am I here?
I somehow just knew BOTH movies would be steaming piles of feces, so I refused to watch either of them. I’m glad to hear what a gifted person I am. Thanks Spoony.
Actually, who am I kidding. All of you should have seen this coming. I think the previews actually did look impressive, but there were signs in there. I mean…CGI. There you go. It’s right there in the preview, a big sign that says “This is a CGI movie and no effort goes into any other aspect of this movie.” So I totally agree with Spoony in that it is you movie goers that are helping these bad movies get worse. Put your money in a bank people!
The single part that I found amusing about that movie was probably when Optimus beats the hell out of Starscream with his own arm the optimus ripped off.
Irony, I’m playing the awesome, cartoon based Transformers videogame right now.
hmm. i’m glad i’ve never seen either. when my old work place bought it for the break room, the first one, they had it on. I watched five minutes of it, and thought, i’m wasting my break. so i went somewhere else for the rest of it. i think it’s pretty funny how vulgar and offensive spoony gets over this vulgar and offensive movie. fire with fire. :D but despite the fact i haven’t seen it, he prolly is bringing up valid points. Robots with testicles? Yah, nightmare material there.
I finally saw it. I was not willing to spend money to see it in theaters and I am glad I didn’t. Spoony gets this movie spot on. The continuity and plot holes are worse then Spoony puts it, imo.
The only I liked was bumblebee “speaking” with songs lyrics. Which I think only happened twice for 5 seconds.
If you are a teenage boy and want to see CGI robots that you can’t tell apart and explosives, see this movie. Everyone else, including fans, STAY AWAY!
It came out resently i decided to torment myself i had nothing better to do so I wached it, GOD WHAT A SHIT LOAD OF FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xman
“Ey Spoony, I saw your review a while back and saw the actual movie just 2 days ago for the first time so I decided to come back and drop my point of view :)
“1st, twin bots racist. Hmm, do all people talk the same? English alone has many accents and street-types, and the “word, word what up yo” wannabee-gangsta talk is not unlike how some ppl in america speak.
Just because you know where this talk is coming from doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed for knowing or feel offended. It’s just wack wannabee-nuggah-gangsta speak.”
But they modeled them to look as Black stereotype as possible.
Why did they have so definite features like gold teeth and monkey like faces (thats a stereotype not my belief)!?
“Jetfire spoke british, I hear nothing about his accent in your review. I mention this because the robots learned to talk through the web (yes, sounds lame, but this was mentioned in TF1).”
They don’t pull the stereotypes of a british person. So he has an accent. Did he have bad teeth, was he snobbish, did he try to find the faults in America, etc.
“Americans seem so self-centered to go point-finger-to-someone-else-mode on alot of things the moment their brain whispers “hey, that’s black talk/nugguh talk”. Nothing wrong with thinking like that because it’s fact. On a side-note, Jar-jar was just an annoying fuck, I never thought “Ooooh, he speaks non-standard american english, sounds black, ooh how offensive, racist Lucas!””
JarJar was an allegory for a Jamaican. He acted like a stereotypical one and talked like a stereotypical one. Again it’s not just the talk, if they tried to make them look nothing like the stereotype they were portaying and still have them speak that way it would be clever if they heard it on the radio but they had to look the part of basically a racists portrayal of black people.
“2nd, teleportation by Jetfire (old decepticon turned autobot, as in the cartoons) : SPACEBRIDGE tech, also mentioned in the movie. The decepticons in the cartoons used the spacebridge to teleport to cybertron and back to earth when needed.”
then why doesn’t anyone else have the tech. Why is the oldest one the only one to have highly advanced tech. The cartoons don’t matter when you talk about the movie, it needs its own logic.
“3rd, surface hologram tech used (as in the cartoons) explains the decepticon/blonde chick.”
Then why don’t they explain that? Why don’t more use that?
“4th, they made jetfire almost Gobot-ish simple, too make him see older, more vintage. Guess they had to figure a way to pull this off in the movie also, but from a different angle. The cane was lame, but not bothersome.”
It requires only a little thought to realize that a robot can’t grow a beard or needs a cane. they could of made him old by just making him seem more obsolete by having him fall apart with lots of rust.
“5th, “robot-heaven”, Sam touched the Matrix and Sam never actually died (much like the cliché crap in many other movies when the heart stops and after some loving words they pop right awake). I’m not gonna explain about how and why, but the Matrix and the Primes have quite a history in TF lore, research it and you’ll understand this “robot-heaven” ;)”
Again the movie does not have the same history as the cartoon because it’s not in the same universe.
IT NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED.
“In general, I thought the movie was better than TF1 though, better fx, better action (chaotic sometimes, but it’s a Bay movie, nothing new there), many robot fights.”
Less plot, more racially insensitive stereotypes, too much padding making a lot of the movie unimportant, explained absolutely nothing so you know nothing of the world that was created in the movie, etc.
The Amizaning Atheist also did a review on this movie.
First of all let me say in all honesty that I did not see this movie in the cinema. Then let me say that I watch movies for free online and I didn’t even watch this for FREE online. After the first movie I had zero intrest to even spend the time (and ONLY the time) to watch it. Even after laughing my ass off watching this review of it I still have no intrest what-so-ever. Having said that i’m with your brother on this one. It’s a kiddy movie with some fail “adult” jokes thrown in for the teenagers. And let me say that I hate shai lebouf or however the hell you spell his name. His name isn’t even worth capitalizing cause he is that meaningless.
As a side note.. Do more reviews with your brother his reactions were gold.
Wow. I’ve seen this movie no less than four times in theaters. When you go see an action summer blockbuster, you shouldn’t go in thinking there will be a substantial plot, you go because you want to let your mind go and relax while seeing stuff blow up. Really, this plot was more complex than you give it credit for. There were a few bad parts, the mom was stupider than normal, and Anthony Anderson didn’t return which sucked, but the point of the movie is to take you back to when you were younger and enjoyed more juvenile jokes. Everyone in my theater was laughing hysterically at Wheelie and the Twins, who along with Jetfire were the best characters in the movie. Everything was explained if you listened instead of shaking your head at how “stupid” it is. But think, did it really make sense in Die Hard to not try to set up some snipers and just let one guy do everything? Was it smart in Lord of the Rings to give the fucking hobbit the ring? Why in Star Wars did Obi-Wan have to die instead of coming along with Luke so he could help out more? You don’t think of these things because you are focusing on the action, and I think you failed to do that here. I can understand that people didn’t like this movie, but I don’t think it deserves the hate it received. The same with the Protector which everyong I know thinks is a fantastic movie with great choreography, including that one take that is like eight minutes long of ass-kicking, and when he destroys all those guards bones? That was awesome, like Transformers 2.
i think its funny how miles mentions something annd its obviously to get him to rant more. my brother is just like that
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