Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – A Rant

I still refuse to acknowledge this as an Indy film.

Hello! Last Crusade? You know as in last, done, over, finnished and finally NO MORE! You don’t name something the last and then make more.

Actually I liked this movie. NOTHING wrong with it. :{

Need to ask, oh Spoony One… were you drunk when you recorded this?

My fucking god… I just checked George Lucas’ plans for Indy 5 from some interview… I was horribly RIGHT, but Indy is not dead! Lucas sees that Mutt is the main character in the fifth movie while Indy is sidecharacter like Sean Connery in Indy 3. It’s not anymore “Indiana Jones” movie – IT’S “MUTT JONES”. My god, fuck, shit, assrape!

I thought it was good, an enjoyable watch that contained alot of what we enjoyed about previous Indy films. It wasn’t as good as the originals, with the exception of the Temple of Doom perhaps, but it was a good movie; the only part that made me half-cringe was the part with Indy Jr. swinging on vines in the jungle – that WAS a step too far.

Erm, and just a point: “LAST” in ‘The Last Crusade’ is not a reference to Indiana Jones as much as it is to the story of the movie. The Crusades were all about occupying Jerusalem and, supposedly, the search for the Holy Grail; since the movie’s plot was about searching for the Holy Grail it was a Crusade, and since the Holy Grail is lost at the end of the movie it’s therefore the LAST Crusade.

After getting home from watching this movie, for no apparent reason, I passed out right in my driveway, hitting my head and getting a minor concussion, resulting in short term memory loss and my forgetting pretty much everything I saw.

Seriously, I’m not making this up; this movie sucks so bad God went out of his way to make me forget it. Probably ‘cuz Spielberg didn’t let him appear in this one like with Raiders and Last Crusade, which would explain Temple of Doom, now that I think about it…

I presume you meant John Hurt?
Still, you’re very right. Although the movie is watchable, it’s definintely not the Indy we all grew up with. I have to say, I feel kinda sorry for Shia LeBeouf. People keep casting him in roles where he’s going to get enormous hate from people.

Holy shit!!! I completely agree with you on every aspect you ranted on about this movie!! I was so abhorred by this bucket of butt waste that I started coming up with my own idea for a fourth Indy film. I’m seriously thinking of shipping the treatment to both Spielberg and Lucas and tell them, this is how it should’ve been done!!! I had three friends of mine, who are HUGE Indy fans, read it, and say that my version is a lot better than this abomination! (My version was titled “Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Sphinx” and involved a secret, hidden treasure long buried underneath the Great Sphinx. Marion would be dead and a young man accompanies Indy, who is as you might have guessed, his son. However, the revelation is done in a more subtle manner and bonding between the two is a strong point, much like that between Indy and his dad in LAST CRUSADE. Also, my version may have the KGB wanting to get their hands on the gold. I’ve written a draft with that in it, but am not sure about keeing it in. *All this is copyrighted thus far.*) I get baffled every time I read someone saying something positive about it. I did a double take when I picked up my copy of Leonard Maltin’s 2009 Movie Guide and saw that one of the most prestigious critics IN THE WORLD gave it 3 1/2 STARS!! WTF?!?!?!

I started getting bummed there for a second when you shut it off and it went to the “No Signal bars” or whatever the hell they’re called. I was like, ‘What about the “radiation fridge incident?”‘ Then you came back on and answered that question for me. That is, by far, one of the dumbest moments not only in Indiana Jones history, but in film history! One big reason this film has aliens in it is partly because the script was written by David Koepp, who wrote Spielberg’s version of WAR OF THE WORLDS! Something should seriously happen. Make a better sequel or remake it. Either way, keep Shia LeBeouf out of it!! His character was so damn annoying!!

Another point I should bring up…what’s with all the 1950s references? Elvis’ “Hound Dog” playing as a group of teenagers drag race a military soldier (another moronic scene); Shia’s entrance (taken from Marlon Brando’s THE WILD ONE); and others I can’t think of at the moment. The Cold War references are fine because those are real topics that were encountered in the ’50s, but all the other references felt heavy-handed and kinda thrust into the audiences’ faces. Did you see any of that in the three previous films? No.

This movie is rubbish.

THEY RAPED HIM RIGHT IN THE ASS good rant though

@ Nova503

Yeah, good thing they won’t make a movie like that. And what if the also made prequels to the star wars movies. With Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. Man, I wouldn’t want to live in a fucked up world like that.

I agree with the review. And LOL at 9:25 :D

Take away the aliens, make it about a magnetic artifact of the natives, the ones they fight, origin, make the relations in the film more subtle add a better musical score, make the climax more original and the movie COULD have been okay. But no. There are aliens, the skull has nothing to do with the climax, its just a key to open a door. The relations are so obvious its an insult to my intelligence and the climax has been done to the syllable, and done better.

Its fine to like this movie I guess. But I really didn’t.

Ive seen worse, but I am very pissed that i dropped like 10 bucks to see it. And I went with a group of like 9 people no less. I feel responsible for movies like this because I wanted to remember how young I was when the older ones came out. I fell for the gimmick also, and I am displeased…sigh

Okay I will admit that this movie was not exactly the best Indy film ever, but it was still a good movie. I really don’t understand why people hate this thing so much

I don’t know anyone with good things to say about this movie. And if you don’t blame George Lucas, blame Shia LaBeof, who’s mastered the ability of being the same person in every movie.