E.T. (Atari 2600) Review

Following two surgeries and doped-out on prescription painkillers, The Spoony One returns to face his own private Apocalypse on the Atari 2600, the argued worst game ever made, E.T. The Extraterrestrial.

Comments

1. #41  loch  |  March 24th, 2009 @ 1:01 pm

   http://www.randomterrain.com/atari-2600-memories-et-tips.html

2. #42  Adrienne  |  March 31st, 2009 @ 11:41 am

   Don’t worry Julia, you are not alone.

   The thought of playing this game causes me pain, I can’t even imagine having to play it in the state you were in. You’re too good to us fans, thank you.

3. #43  ty  |  April 2nd, 2009 @ 9:03 am

   i feel so bad for you,just playing that…thing is bad enough.

4. #44  znor  |  April 5th, 2009 @ 8:57 pm

   Baane, the floating mechanic is so broken that you’ll randomly drop to the bottom of the pit anyway regardless of whether you hold the float button or not. And if you DO clear the hole you’ll sometimes drop down anyway because the collision detection is so badly conceived. So holding the float button matters little in this case, does it? And even if the floating wasn’t so broken, the number of pits you have to fall into with the small chance that it’ll contain a phone piece, then sloooooooowly climbing back up repeatedly, having scientists that take you away several screens below that do nothing besides annoy and inconvenience, and FBI agents who randomly pop up on the screen to take your things away only to repeat the slogging process all over again are hardly the marks of a “very good” game. So, judging by your lack of standards when it comes to anything, do you think that Superman 64 and AD&D: Heroes of the Lance are “solid” games, that Uwe Boll is an “above par” director, and that a pile of dog shit served on a platter made of dried cow pie and roadkill is “delectable cuisine”? Or is it that you have to pretend to enjoy widely, and deservedly, derided crap and then belittle other people who have something resembling common sense to feel as though you are “above” the hoi polloi who just don’t “get it” like you do? Take your mindless bitch-fits to a site that deserves it, like 4chan or Encyclopedia Dramatica, not a hard-working ‘Net-ertainer like Spoony. Or just swallow the stuff under the sink. Either way works!

5. #45  Isolder74  |  April 15th, 2009 @ 6:11 pm

   The pillars icon makes the humans go away. If you call elliot and he shows up he is suppose to stay on the screen and keep the bad humans away. the game only allows one human on the screen. The game was frustrating, terrible and impossible with agent pedophile constantly stealing your parts. I had this game and eventually managed to finish it on ‘hard’ but it wasn’t any fun to play.

6. #46  Scythe909  |  April 23rd, 2009 @ 6:54 pm

   Wow. This was not worth it on you’re part. We’re not worth it. But what kind of jackass am i for complaining. Thanks for helping me NOT even consider picking this game up IF SOME1 PAYS ME. lol i could make this game in paint.

7. #47  Ink  |  May 16th, 2009 @ 3:22 pm

   Good opening (reference to Apocalypse Now). But yea- had my wisdom teeth pulled out at once- that goodness it was springbreak- I just stayed at home and waited it out, through all the bleeding, pain…and stuff. But no E.T. Had I been forced to play the game until I won, only to replay it until my full recovery, i would have gouged my eyes out….or something.
   As for Noah w/out his shirt…(or pants)……

   This whole video was a little something about fan-service, wasn’t it? =D

8. #48  Antythese  |  May 18th, 2009 @ 6:35 am

   Didn’t you know ? The FBI agent is a special agent of the Circuit City Division!

9. #49  Dan  |  May 31st, 2009 @ 10:42 am

   To say “I feel your pain” would detract from the obvious Hell you put yourself through to review this game for your adoring public. I can only salute your sacrifice. And applaud the Apocalypse Now reference, of course.

10. #50  Lady Echo  |  June 30th, 2009 @ 7:42 pm

    Awesome Apocalypse Now homage :)

    That said, I found this for you:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-pzdPLfy9Y

Add Your Comment

Name (required)  

Email (required - will not be published)  

Website (optional)  

The Spoony Experiment is Noah Antwiler's addle-brained, scattershot attempt to understand pop culture and all of the geeky things that shaped his tormented, warped psyche. Here you'll find movie reviews of childhood classics and Hollywood blockbusters, video game reviews of old Nintendo games, jacked-up PC games you've probably never heard of, and modern abominations of gaming that plague the Playstation, XBox, and Wii. Who knows what else you might find in these hallowed halls of nerdiness, but hopefully we'll all learn a little something. If not, at least we're sure to have some serious laughs.

Welcome to the Spoony Experiment. It's here to pop culture in the face.